This is a question that has often dumb-founded me? Because most of the people that do cheat, are smart, kind, lovely people. Really, they aren’t the scum of the earth. Most often, the people (both sides) are hurting, the marriage is hurting, and any real conversation ended long before the cheating began. I have to admit that this article may have been driven just a bit by the Demi/Ashton potential split and the Will and Jada rumor of a split-both were long time relationships between beautiful and rich people. Yes, they are hollywood but still…I expect less and sometimes more. Ironically, one of them in each pair is at midlife. But does that play a part?
Do other cultures know better than we do? I’ve asked a few different men and women from other cultures about what makes for the difference or the apparent acceptance of infidelities? One French man stated that French men (some well known person(s) excluded) do not flaunt their extramarital activities. While they may have them, most of the time they are discussed by both the husband and wife and rules and deals are made. They seem to understand that two people aren’t necessarily “made for each other” and find ways to keep the Primary Marriage strong while engaging another “friend” to be party to the other areas. Sexual intimacy seems strong within both relationships. And as long as both behave respectfully, their system appears to work. The Japanese have long been known to have women on the side — also in a very quiet and respectful manner. Recently the “new” Japanese woman has been known to have a lover or two herself. Both parties seem to manage a high degree of respect for marriage and there is definitely a “primary” marriage.
No one seems to want to leave the marriage because neither party really WANTS to go . This is so very odd to me since I’m from the plain and simple, pseudo-sexuality of America but I thought you be might be interested to look at the Zurin institutes’s findings on relationship fidelity. I’m still reading and trying to weigh in on the findings
Do you believe we are wired for monogamy?
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