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Women and the Scariest Part of Aging

If we could keep our youthful looks and also be guaranteed another 40 years, would midlife be as scary? Vivian Diller, Ph.D,  Jill Muir-Sukenick, Ph.D, and editor Michele Willens have created a guidebook, called “Face It” to help women deal with the their changing appearances. It’s no secret that we live in a culture that values youth and is particularly harsher on women of all ages. Designyourself CA polled Canadian women and found that 83% were open to some form of cosmetic enhancement to deal with the visual signs of aging. Is this o.k.? Is it healthy for women to do all this stuff to keep themselves looking young?

I’m aging particularly well. I don’t need lifters and fillers yet but I can’t get away from the fear—a little bit of panic that my smooth skin will one day disappear (it will). Sometimes I get a vision and actually shiver.It’s then that I have to come back to a few basic realities. Things ARE changing. On the physical end of things —my joints ache a little. Occasionally I can’t find a word—or my car. And I have to admit — no matter how good I look, I probably don’t have 50 more years; And depending on the particular moment this either gets me off my butt or makes for some scary limitations.

But there are ways to deal with the ups and downs of midlife: Write about the feelings. I insist that all my coaching clients keep a regular journal. Writing is a safe way to explore and paper is extremely non-judgmental.

1. Ask yourself if you are happy being who you are, doing what you are doing and being where you are?

2. Look for the positives about aging and don’t feel ashamed if you’ve indulged in some age-defying products and treatments. Midlife is about doing what feels right for you.

2. Ask yourself questions like: What have you done that made you feel happiest this month?

3. What experiences would you like to have that you haven’t yet?

4. Do you have at least 2 woman friends that you can be honest with— the  kick your shoes off  kind of friends. If not, go hunting for some.

5. Be kind to everyone you meet for the next 5 days. Why bother being short-tempered or down-right nasty. Is anyone worth it? And is anyone you love worthy of bad treatment?

6. Journal, journal, journal – It clarifies your thoughts and lowers blood pressure. The time commitment is minimal— a few lines, a few times a week and every now and then add a drawing even if it’s a stick figure.

Take time to slow down and think— it will really be worth it.

Check out the following resources:

Planet Sark – Sark’s website is colorful and juicy. A good start to journaling and being creative.  Beware it could make your head spin.

Check out how to create Vision Boards – Martha Beck has a few articles on the internet that will help you get started.

Check out the book “Face It”




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